As we journey through life, the concept of character often intertwines with how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and our actions.
Elon Musk recently shared an insightful thought during an interview with Dr. Jordan Peterson. He mentioned that one of the true tests of someone’s character is to look at the character of their friends and associates.
While people can put up a mask to present themselves in a certain way, their true character is often reflected in the company they keep.
This raises an important question:What do you look for in a friend?
Character is one of the pillars in any relationship.
When we think about building character, it’s not just about constructing a personality that others admire. It’s about refining our character traits, honing our approach to life, and living with integrity.
Building Character vs. Building Personality
Many people mistakenly believe that building character is about shaping a personality. But in reality, it’s about much more.
It’s about developing a deep sense of self, understanding your values, and letting those values guide your actions.
Character is about consistency and integrity — doing what is right even when no one is watching. It’s about leaving every place, and every person, better than you found them.
“Whatever you do, wherever you go, leave that place better than you found it.” — Rinzai Zen Tradition
Knowing Your Path: The Key to Personal Growth
Another aspect of building character is knowing your path.
When you truly understand what you want out of life, you don’t feel the need to desire what others have. However, if you’re unsure of your path or goals, you may find yourself constantly looking to others for direction.
This can lead to confusion and dissatisfaction because, without a clear understanding of your own desires, you end up chasing someone else’s dreams.
This misalignment can leave you feeling empty because you’re not fulfilling your own needs and wants.
The math just doesn’t add up, and it won’t sustain you in the long run.
Competence Over Praise
One of the most effective ways to build character is through competence.
Competence builds confidence far more effectively than praise.
- Developing skills
- Completing tasks, and
- Seeing tangible progress
Are much more satisfying than receiving empty words of encouragement.
In today’s world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking linearly — seeking quick answers without engaging in deep thinking. But true growth comes from challenging yourself to think, learn, and act on your own.
Worrying vs. Taking Action
Have you ever noticed how worrying feels like worshiping the problem?
The more we dwell on what could go wrong, the more power we give to the problem itself.
Instead, consider the gap between:
- Where you are and where you want to be.
- Has this gap grown larger over time?
If so, it can be tempting to retreat, to go back to a time when you had fewer desires or goals.
But here’s the truth:
Progress happens when we actively invite our desires into our lives. It takes small, consistent actions to bridge that gap.
Everyone understands this, yet we often try to take on too much too quickly and give up when results don’t come instantly.
Taking Accountability
It’s important to recognize that no matter how much we might want to blame others for our circumstances, the responsibility ultimately lies with us.
It often takes victims years to realize that even if they make it someone else’s fault, it’s still their problem to solve.
Ask yourself:What part of this can I take accountability for?
If you created the problem, then you are not the victim — you have the power to change the outcome.
The Power of Small Wins
Remember, do nothing or take small, consistent actions?
The choice is simple, yet the execution is where many falter.
Small wins, stacked daily, build a towering success.
Don’t underestimate the power of incremental progress.
Mastering your frequency — your thoughts, your actions, and your intentions — will allow you to master your life.
As you go about your week, I encourage you to reflect on your character, your relationships, and your path. What small actions can you take today that will contribute to the bigger picture of your life? How can you align your actions with your true desires and values?
Remember, character isn’t just who you are when things are easy — it’s who you are when you’re faced with challenges.
keep building, keep reflecting, and keep growing.
Warm regards,
Esther
