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As parents, professionals, and individuals navigating life, we often face unexpected challenges that force us to rethink our approach.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on this through my own experiences, particularly as a mother.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes, no matter how much planning and structure we create, life unfolds in its own way. And the real challenge? Learning to embrace that shift rather than resist it.

Putting the Child First

Recently, I had to make a tough decision regarding my son’s schooling. He was unhappy in his current environment, and as much as I wanted to push for change within that setting, I had to recognize something important:

It wasn’t about blaming the environment. It was about focusing on his needs.

Too often, we get caught up in playing the blame game — faulting schools, workplaces, relationships, or even ourselves for things that don’t go as planned. But real problem-solving begins when we step back and ask:

What does this situation need in order to thrive?

For my son, it meant stepping away from that particular school. And for me, it meant accepting that my role as a mother wasn’t to force a situation to work — it was to create space for his happiness and growth, even if that meant changing the plan.

This is true for so many aspects of life.

Rather than forcing a vision of how things should be, what if we focused on the natural development of our circumstances?

Brandon Sanderson describes writers as either architects or gardeners — and I believe this applies to life as well.

When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

In many areas of life — relationships, careers, personal growth — we start out as architects. We follow the blueprint, the traditional rules, the expectations placed upon us.

But what happens when something doesn’t go according to plan?

This is where the gardener mindset is crucial. Instead of panicking, resisting, or forcing things to work, a gardener observes, adjusts, and nurtures what is in front of them.

If we can learn to balance both roles, we build a stronger, more adaptable foundation for life.

Are You a Chef or a Cook?

The same applies to cooking.

A cook follows a recipe exactly. They measure, mix, and execute step by step.

A chef also follows a recipe — but when something goes wrong, they know how to adapt. They taste, adjust, and trust their instincts to make it work.

This is the difference between following and understanding.

In life, many of us go through the motions — following what we’ve been told, what society expects, what seems “right.”

But then something happens. The plan falls apart. The ingredients don’t mix as expected. And suddenly, without intuition, we feel lost.

The goal is not just to follow a recipe, but to develop the confidence to trust yourself when things don’t go as planned.

Learning to Adapt and Trust Yourself

One of the greatest skills we can cultivate is problem-solving — knowing when to step back and reassess, when to let go of control, and when to trust that we have the tools to handle whatever comes our way.

It starts with simple practices:

✅ Pay attention to your patterns — where in life are you forcing something instead of flowing with it?
✅ Identify your strengths — are you naturally more of an architect or a gardener?
✅ Strengthen your intuition — give yourself permission to trust your instincts, even in small decisions.

When we practice flexibility, we create space for self-trust, and when we trust ourselves, we move through life with more clarity and ease.

Bringing It All Together

Life is about balance.

Sometimes you need a plan. Sometimes you need to let things unfold.​
​Sometimes you follow the recipe. Sometimes you trust your instincts.

The goal is not to be just an architect or a gardener, a cook or a chef — but to develop the awareness to switch between them when needed.

As you move forward this week, ask yourself:

1. Where in your life are you holding on too tightly to a rigid plan?
2. What would happen if you allowed yourself to adjust and adapt?
3. How can you strengthen your intuition so that when things don’t go as planned, you know exactly what to do?

Give yourself permission to trust yourself. That’s where real growth begins.

Esther

Exciting News!

📖 My book It’s Personal is now available for pre-order!​
It’s a collection of letters from the last six months, diving into self-growth, intuition, and personal transformation.

​It's Personal​
​It's Personal: Your Emotions, Your Relationships, Your Choices by Esther Levy Dresdner In It's Personal, Esther Levy…ujjayiinc.com​

💡 Join Nourish to Flourish for just $10!​
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📍 Interested in 1:1 coaching?​
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Link Below

​Esther Levy​
​Mind & Body Programming | The Art of Preparation | Author of "Interior Design of the Body" | Self-Growth | Motherhood |…estherlevy.kit.com​

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For more info about Esther

For Contact Esther@ujjayiinc.com

Esther Levy Dresdner

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